I Long To Belong

Long: I long to belong…

but surely my identity is my passport to belonging?

I am a Cornish man who started my working life as a miner and ended it (or at least the latest phase of it) as a college lecturer. This one sentence lists at least five groups I belong to at a superficial level and many more when you start reading between the lines, i.e. socially mobile emigre, nationalist, etc.

A look at my life in a little more depth would highlight many more categories such as husband, father, brother, son and so on. What, therefore, do I feel I am missing out on and why do I still feel a need to “belong”?

Is it an ambition? Is it a romantic ideal? Or is it a desire to be recognised for something over and above the norm?

Yes I am a Brit and I can narrow this down to the, arguably, more romantic identity of Cornishman but do we not all hanker at some time or another to belong to another group, particularly when that group is seen as ‘different’ or as the ‘noble underdog’ or ‘spiritually superior’?

Having recently retired because I reached that magic age of three score years and five and having spent frantic months moving area, downsizing and helping a daughter to redecorate her neglected home I am now forced to confront the facts. I am broke, my income is considerably less than my outgoings and I am scared.

My fear is because of my unreasonable longing to belong… as a writer. There I have said it.

Please help.

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